Everything you want to know.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Teacher Buries Kittens Alive

Some parents argue that cats should not be murdered/tortured by teachers.
A male high school teacher in Chiba was arrested for burying five kittens alive on school property. The teacher, in his 30s, had three male students assist in digging the hole. Later, by himself, he buried the kittens, which appeared to be no older than 5 days old.

In his statement he said, "I buried them without thinking of the consequences. I didn't think about what the students would think. I'm very sorry." In his defense, it is always difficult to guess how other humans feel about burying things alive, especially when those humans are in a younger age group. The world changes so fast!

Sources: Yomiuri Onlineasahi.com

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Refrain from Skipping

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that we've finally outlawed skipping, but, at the same time, speed walking, winking, hand gestures, and general frolicking are all more or less accepted as permissible. We still have a long way to go as a society. #justsayin

Side note: The Japanese actually says no skipping rope.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

R2-D2 Plane

ANA has finally come out with a silent film promoting their new R2-D2 jet that will start service in the fall.

You can get a little more information or watch the video with stars in the background on ANA's website. It might seem like a pointless promotion, but they explain why they chose R2-D2:

"No. 1 reliability! Popular character who connects the Star Wars episodes. In the long adventurous journey, R2-D2 reached a unique personality. Highly loyal and whenever he faces challenge he comes up with an original idea to succeed the mission."

Definitely brings a tear to the eye. It was a really cool idea to hire a writer who, like R2-D2, is unable to speak English. I think it's safe to say that someday they will reach a unique personality as well!

Friday, April 17, 2015

Taco Bell Access Rap

Taco Bell is opening up in Tokyo!!! In honor of the event, they decided to remind us once again that the only thing "más good" than fake, cheap Mexican food, is fake, cheap rap about fake, cheap Mexican food. The rap starts by explaining how to get to the store. They magically find a way to make what should be a seven second explanation take two minutes. And then the beautiful chorus:

Tacos, burrito, crunch wrap,
Nachos, fajita, quesadilla, 
Japan original taco rice.
ima sugu choudai!(Give it to me right away)
Taco Bell choudai! (Give me Taco Bell)

The Gyojah Boyz (Pilgrim Boyz?) have really outdone themselves this time. Fun note, one of the MC's is called MC 卍. Yes, it's a backwards buddhist swastika, but still fun.

Amazing Family Mart Spring Festival

I've already written extensively on the subject of Ultraman being a modern day Jesus. It seems Family Mart, a popular convenience store, has decided to use Ultraman in a sort of Easter substitute celebration.

You see, those monsters are demonstrating that if you spend over ¥700, you get a raffle ticket and can win a great prize. That crazy monster gets his claw stuck in the box! Religion can be fun after all!

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Kinniku Man Toy

I used to collect muscle man toys as a kid, so I was very aroused to find this toy. I think it's really cool that there's an earphone jack for each of the toys. I love pushing my toys in and out of my phone. Also, they chose a really nice color for the plug. It isn't too distracting and fits right in.

There are five different toys showing finishing "holds" in all. Check out the lineup:

I was hoping for the top one that makes me feel like a real man, but I got the second best one.

It's called the toilet flush. This guy is a urinal and is murdering someone. It's fun! Oh, and I'm pretty sure he has a poop hat on. I'm so glad I was able to find more poop news for the blog.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Open to Change Zima Commercial

A lot of you know that the main reason I can't move back to America is my debilitating addiction to Zima. Well, my illness just got that much radder!

Zima is back in a BIG way! Zima truly is clear magic!

Maybe you think that ad doesn't make sense, but you probably just don't understand how they're making a bunch of new flavors like peach and coconut. You don't get that because they don't explain that at all in the commercial. Also, even if you know that, the commercial has nothing to do with the "open to change" theme.

Just thought I'd point out that the views are in the 30s and this video has been up for over a month. It's about to blow up!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Pepsi Pink Cola

Japanese Food Review #93

I hope this doesn't "ruffle" any feathers, but I'm going to review a drink as if it were a food. No hate mail, please.

One thing I hate about cola is that it's brown and tastes like cola. Luckily, Pepsi in Japan often has limited edition flavors. Perhaps you remember Salty Watermelon Pepsi. It wasn't good.

When I first opened Pepsi Pink, I thought it smelled like a fake fruit punch or something. Then I tasted it, and it had a little bit of a cola flavor mixed in. I didn't know this at the time, but it was released once before in 2011. At that time, the bottle said it was strawberry and milk flavor. I did think it had a faint fake strawberry taste, but I didn't notice any milk flavor.

Gaybot: 4  It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I'm not a big fan of Pepsi, but this was sort of nice to try one time. It, at least, had an original taste.
Girlbot: 7.5  She almost never drinks soda. Like, she doesn't know if she prefers Pepsi or Coke and can't remember how they taste. Still, she thinks this is slightly better than Pepsi.
Overall: 5.75

Monday, April 13, 2015

Sunday, April 12, 2015


This ad is for a deodorant ball. The best part is when the balls shoot out of the Deoball fairy lady's armpit. It's cool that all the women appeared to be on the verge of death and then wanted to show off their armpits at the end. I also like that the containers look exactly like their lip balm containers called Chulip. Chu is the sound a kiss makes in Japanese. Um, check that out I guess:

See? Same shape. I can easily see waking up after a destructive night of drinking and wanting to kiss something my girlfriend (the one who probably really left me last night) has touched to her lips, and then I accidentally make out with her deodorant, get violently ill, and end up in rehab. Or maybe I develop an armpit fetish and mistakenly kiss lip balm. That would be sort of fun, too.

These products are all made by a company called Rohto, by the way. I wanted to show the difference in their marketing to men and women. So that top commercial was girly and colorful. Below is a soap for men that specializes in making you not smell (unlike that soap you use now that doesn't actually clean you).

So women want to be cute fairies and men want to be evil Greek gods or something.