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Monday, September 15, 2014

The Halloween displays have been up at a lot of stores for about two weeks. I can't believe Halloween is less than fifty days away! Here are some paper plates that are sure to make you the coolest out of place man at a children's Halloween party!

"Now, it is Halloween today! I will carry out appearance of a pumpkin and will surprise everybody!"

Again, this quote sounds like something Jesus would say, but I could totally see Mary teaching Jesus about this. We'll never know for sure because most contemporary bibles leave out almost of the Halloween party chapters.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Christmas Everyday

I wish I could be Christmas everyday.

I'm not really sure who came up with this quote. Maybe Jesus? Anyway, these decorations are hanging up year round at Big Echo, a karaoke place.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Dome Sweet Dome

I've been getting a lot of fan mail requesting pictures of people walking on the Nagoya Dome. It's actually a little odd how many letters have been about this subject lately. I secretly suspect that most or all of the letters are written by a very drunk me. Well, enjoy guyz! There's no place like... dome??!?!!??

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Pet Monkey

The pet shop in the mall by my house is selling a monkey. It's only about $4,500 if anybody wants to go in on it with. I've got a couple surefire ideas to make our money back. Obviously one involves a small cowboy costume and some rockets or something. Also, I've got this idea for a show where Hitler is reincarnated as a small boys pet monkey. I was thinking it would be a comedy, but I'd be willing to do a serious drama as well if you invest more than 50%.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Gurapote Review

Japanese Food Review #87
Gurapote is short for granola potato chip (because you can't say "gra" in Japanese). The bag says it is full of granola and is a non-fried chip high in iron and fiber. It seems pretty healthy. The top three ingredients are potato, oil, and sugar. Today we'll be examining their orange cocoa flavor.

The chips are very light and are not salty at all. They're pretty sweet. They seemed more like healthy potato cookies than a chip.The chocolate flavor was stronger than the orange. I guess I wouldn't have realized granola had anything to do with the chips if I hadn't seen the bag. I thought I wouldn't like these, but we ate the entire (quite small) bag very quickly.

Gaybot: 6 There's a possibility I'll buy them again. I at least am interested in trying the other flavors.
Girlbot: 4 They were better than she expected, and she would eat them if offered to her, but she will never purchase a bag herself.
Overall: 5

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Basically Immortal

People often ask me how I can live in a country with some many earthquakes, tsunamis, and the such. Listen dudez, I've got a disaster prevention hood. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be just fine.

Saturday, September 6, 2014


Reina Triendl has come out with the jam of the year. It's used in an ad for Daihatsu's Cocoa car. They've very cleverly combined "cocoa" with "kawaii" (cute) to produce the new super word "cocokawa." It's a word that has so many uses, like..., well, I can't really think of a way to use it in a sentence, but it's just so much fun! We all remember how the old Cocoas reminded us of vomit, but now you can choose the colors of the car (both inside and out) through a simulator on their website, so it's pretty cute.

In the song Triendl asks, "Where's your CocoKawa?" Then there's a bunch of gibberish before saying, "Let's find it." It kind of sums up 2014 for me.

Friday, September 5, 2014

KFC Colonel's Day

Happy birthday dead guy that's now a cartoon character!
Did you know that KFCs in Japan celebrate Colonel's Day? I guess Colonel Sanders was born on September 9th, so you can get discounted chicken and stuff this month.

Who cares? No one, but if you follow the Japanese version of KFC on Twitter and tweet about it, you'll be entered to win an amazing prize. (You should click on that link and scroll down to see what I'm talking about). They're calling it "the drool without thinking 3D chicken" campaign. You can win a keyboard that only has the K, F, and C buttons labeled. All the other ones are 3D pieces of chicken (only 1 winner), or a drumstick mouse (1 winner), or a chicken USB memory stick (1 winner), or chicken earrings (47 winners).

Don't miss out on this chance to give KFC free advertising!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Brown Rice Soup

This was on the side of a brown rice soup box. Everything else was written in Japanese, and the part above was only written in English. It's just another in a long line of products claiming to be able to improve a family's health by harnessing the theoretical energy source of migrating birds. Sounds almost too good to be true.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Cup No Sokoko

I've written about Fuchiko a couple times. Basically she's an action figure you can get in a vending machine that hangs on the edge of your glass.... or so we thought! Now she's being crushed by the glass. Actually, this toy is called Sokoko. Soko means bottom (whereas fuchi means edge), and ko is a popular ending for women's names. Sokoko can face in either direction.

 A couple of critiques:
-A more realistic Sokoko might of been fun. Maybe at least a few ribs poking through?
-Unlike the Fuchiko addition, we are unable to see her underwear (at least in this incarnation). Truth be told, this toy is barely erotic at all. What's the point of buying it?

Here's the paper showing the other versions: